First Blizzard of 2008

And it just so happened to occur on May 2? Yes, indeedy. We do live in South Dakota, after all! No worries, though, we're back to 50 degrees tomorrow and then 60 on Sunday. I can live with that.

We woke up to snow drifts and blowing snow, so much so that it was difficult to see across the street. By about 3:30, the sky was blue, the sun was out and so were the boys, playing, digging, building and making new friends. Since it was an official "blizzard", everything was closed, including the schools, so we had the fun chance to play with our neighborhood friends. Robert (next door) and Caleb (across the street) were both stoked to have the day OFF! :) We're so lucky... and Grateful, yes, Grateful most of all.

Another neighbor from across the street did a good deed by coming over to help shovel our sidewalk. His name is Sam, and the kids have taken quite a liking to him. I invited him in after we were done shoveling, for a cup of coffee. Well, that was at about 5:30. It was 10:00 when he left. He's a very interesting man with a huge heart. And he *really* talks to kids, like, for real. He's interested, and the kids know it. They were all so excited to talk to him, making it difficult for them to take turns, allowing everyone a chance for some of our new friend's attention.

I whipped up some pasta with veggies, and asked Sam to stay for dinner. He graciously accepted, and as we were finishing eating, Saylor and Stone started throwing the angel hair pasta up to the ceiling. Sam got a HUGE kick out of this, and so, naturally, joined in. He's convinced he missed out on a whole lot by having to go to school. (he's Dakota Sioux, so actually went to a boarding school, where they made him cut his hair, change his name, stop speaking his native language....unbelievable...)

We had a lovely day...truly lovely. Hope yours was, too!
I took these pictures later in the afternoon. The snow wasn't blowing much at this point, but we've got a couple good drifts in our yard. Good, heavy, wet snow, too. Our new baby grass underneath is (hopefully) enjoying the drink.


I wasn't able to get the ceiling in this shot, but it's well covered with various sizes of organic angel hair pasta...oh, the JOY! Pictured is our new friend, Sam. It was so cool to see a grown-up join in the fun of pasta throwing with the same zest as the boys. You should've heard the conversations going, and the giggling by everyone (especially the grown-up!). Good Stuff! They're all making plans now to cook up a *whole* pot of spaghetti (the cheap stuff) and tackle another ceiling in our house. We're thinking a tarp would be a good thing to put down, first.

Flurry

My, my, my...we've been a flurry of activity around here! John left for Minnesota nearly a week and a half ago, now. Had some slight car problems on the way and ended up taking a bus ride from Mitchell the rest of the way.

Just after dad left, we attended two birthday parties for friends. One being 5+ hours playing at the park and exploring the stream (and lots of eating); and the other being 6+ hours of swimming at an indoor hotel pool and running wildly up and down the halls (and lots of eating). The parties weren't on the same day, obviously, but they were the same weekend.

We've made some new friends who happen to have a GIGANTIC 5000 square foot house, filled to the brim with interesting stuff. Their backyard opens to a large hill and then some woodsy area, so there's lots to do outside, as well. We spent a long day there last week, and each of the boys left exhausted, but so grateful for the time spent with friends.

On Thursday of last week, my phone rang at 11:15 pm. I was still up, (which is highly unusual) while my 3 angels snoozed all around me on the couches. I was trying to finish "Evening", and I'd been eating popcorn and had a coke earlier, which is probably why I was still up! :) Well, turns out, that midnight call was from a client who's water had just broken. By 11:45, I'd carried each boy upstairs to bed, my mom had arrived, and I was out the door to attend a home-birth. Beautiful baby boy was born at 6:20 Friday morning. I arrived home around 8:30, and managed to convince Mary to take the boys for a couple hours before her volunteer shift so I could fit in a nap. I was quite surprised to feel pretty darn ok, even after being awake for 24 hours, and squeezing in a 1.5 hour nap. (although I did almost exit the grocery store without paying...ooopsie...but by that time, I'd been through a whole other event...see below!)

After I'd picked the boys up from Mary's, and ended up loading all 6 of them (her 3) into our vehicle so we could play at our house for a while, Sage lodged a fish hook very deeply into his little thumb as we were unloading. I freaked, threw out a few panic stricken words of choice, then re-gained my composure and took him to a walk-in clinic. He nursed, called the doctors 'tupid' (not while they were in the room), and was other-wise not happy about this foreign object in his thumb. They numbed it topically a couple of times, then ended up snipping the one end so that they could push it through. No blood. Hardly any evidence of it being there at all. Lots of screaming, though. They asked me to put him up on the exam table. He wasn't ok with that. I held him instead, reassuring him and speaking gently into his ear while they did the thing. As soon as it was out, he was fine, and very happy to see the waiting room full of his friends and brothers.

There's just a snapshot of our past week or so. Good times, baby! No, really, I do mean "good times" (except for the fish hook incident, yikes!) We're enjoying the warmer weather. 80 degrees here yesterday. We spent the whole day outside and even ran through the sprinkler. Now the weather report tells me it's going to be 31 degrees on Friday? WTF?

Variety *is* the spice of life!

Orgasmic Birth

Little by little, we will shift the perception for our daughters, their daughters and theirs, that birth is a beautiful, sacred event. Not to be feared. Not to be handed over to a stranger.

This movie will aid in that shift. And the rest of us, sharing our stories of birth as blissful, empowering and transcendent will transform birth from not something to be feared, but embraced.

Loving the water...

We spend a LOT of time here. On this particular day, the boys set up a sprinkler under the tramp. Can't really see it's effect in the picture, but they had a giggling good time.

Last week, we did a bike ride and picnic with Grandma, and this little guy pushed his scooter for a long, long while. I pulled the empty Burley around, as he was determined to keep going. And did he! We have a lovely bike path here that follows the creek. We make lots of stops to explore and get our feet wet.

Juicing & Creating

Saylor and I spent a long while juicing yesterday. Started out with wheat grass, then wheat grass mixed with carrots, then grapefruit, then grapefruit with some grapes thrown in for sweetness, then pure grape, finished off by beautiful, frothy strawberry. Good Stuff!

Up Early

6:30, to be exact. Thought I'd have at least 2 hours of solitude, to check e-mail, blog, sweep the popcorn off the floor and unload the dishwasher. At 6:50, upon hearing the thump-thump of the littlest set of feet heading downstairs, that changed...

Since I've made a commitment to myself to NOT be staring at the computer while my children are staring at the TV, (both have been happening a lot lately, and then I wonder why people are melting down...sigh...) I'm doing a very short blog, then I'm outta here. All of my other 'tasks' will have to wait until later.

We've got plans for Earth Day, but instead of foretelling them, I'll share them all *after*, how's that?

Happy Earth Day!

Adding to My List

As one book lover to all the rest, y'know how we all have a long list of books we've just GOT to read. Well, I just watched a DVR'd Oprah about Dave Sheff and his son, Nic. They were both on the show, and Nic radiated beauty and truth. I just wanted to hug him. He seemed so familiar to me.

I can't wait to read BOTH of their books. I suppose the topic of 'addiction' interests me because I grew up with it surrounding me. I've somehow escaped it, but my heart will remain forever full for the people I know and love, and for those I've never met, who battle it every day.

David's book is Beautiful Boy.

And Nic wrote his account in Tweak.

So, just as soon as I'm done with A New Earth, I'll be picking those up.

5 Wild & Crazy Things

There's a meme spinning around my favorite blog sites right now, and the "rule" is that you're to be tagged, and then you take part. I hate being "tagged", and seldom take part in the game when I am, because it's usually just not a good time for some reason. So, I'm just doing this meme myself, and making up my own rules about it! I thought it was a fun one, to list 5 wild and crazy things about yourself, so here goes!

1. I once posed in a biker calendar. Fully clothed, but they did use duct tape to push up my already perky rack! (before 9 years of nursing children, btw! ;)

2. I love to dip McDonald's french fries in their vanilla ice cream. My thighs love it, too, I just know it!

3. The perfect meal: A big bowl of freshly popped popcorn (in coconut oil), perfectly salted, an equally large bowl of chocolate covered raisins and an ice-cold Coca-Cola, from the can, please.

4. I recently posed nude for a life-drawing class and LOVED it! I wanted to do it, to stretch my own boundaries, to experience and demonstrate outwardly the comfort I feel in my own skin. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

5. I once had dreadlocks for 1 day. Then I chickened out and spent the next several days taking them out. A painful process, and my hair is still whacked out 2 years later.

Ok. I'll stop there, but I think I have many more weird things I could share about myself.

And Now...a Message from Dad (w/ lots of photos to follow)

It was the best of times and the worst of times.

This has been the longest I've been laid off of work with the least amount of money; yet amazing with positive thinking, how things just work out. No I haven't been mindful the whole time but a great experience for me to really connect with my boys and understand their needs. With Karen volunteering at the Breadroot, I had to take on the the task of care giver. I think Karen was even a bit amazed at how well I did (although I did want to pull my hair out or theirs sometimes). I hope we all took something good from this time as I know I have.

Although I'm not too fond of the SD winters to say the least, we have had a great time when the weather was forgiving. We have gone dirt biking, kayaking and a stay at Grandpa's. The farm and ranch that I grew up on is always fun to visit. We helped Grandpa fix fence, check fowling horses, feed horses, work cattle, ride four wheeler; we shot guns, and shot bow and arrow. OH yeah, we even did a little "prairie surfing" (see following video) "pulling an old water ski behind the four wheeler". Gramps videoed us with his phone.

The kayak trip was an overnight deal with the weather being 60 degrees the first day and 25 overnight. We saw plenty of birds like Blue Herons, ducks, and Canadian Geese. We even snapped a shot of a Goose nest with big old eggs in it. When we pulled over for the day, we
set camp up and then the boys commenced to go tribal by collecting spires, hiding in trees and crapping in the woods "like a bear". After a hard day of foraging and paddling, we settled in for the night. Stone started chopping on some wood, and he commented, "I guess I'm on the night shift". After the chopping became too annoying, Saylor fired him and I thought a good distraction would be to sing a song, so I started singing Bob Marley's 3 Little Birds. Well, Stone joined in the singing, but then he was singing at the top of his lungs, "don't worry.....about a thing.....cuz every little thing....gonna be alright" AND chopping his wood! Just had to laugh. I thought we would be all right with two sleeping bags but was corrected when Stone and I shared. It was a long night.

In the morning, which came quick, we all arose together and started the fire for coffee, cocoa and oatmeal. We played for awhile and decided with it being so cold we would scratch the rest of the trip and plan for a later launch. Mom came to rescue us with help from Sage and Emma but they
didn't leave without eating the fine cuisine of hot dogs ala grill.

Our day of dirt biking was the first time the whole tribe was able to go along. Sage road with me but it won't be long and he will be solo. Karen honed in her old biker skills from when she was a Harley Babe. Nothing more bad ass and sexy than a mama kick starting a bike. The
sunny after noon was filled with leisurely rides and hiking up mounds of dirt.

Now the time has come for me to start work for the season and looking back at our adventures, I would have to say it is a great life.

Prairie Surfing

Grandpa's Farm

Stone building a flying saucer.

Saylor dragging a metal fence into the shop.

Hanging out in the post holes we just dug.

Shooting at the gun club in Murdo, SD with Grandpa and cousin Wyatt in the background.

"YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!" :)

Kayak Trip

It never fails! Whenever we paint, we always decide painting ourselves is just so much more fun than painting paper!

Oh, the sheer joy... His brothers called him The Hulk, of course!

Beauty in a snapshot.

There really is a piece of paper under there, but he soon disregarded it's borders. Tis fine by me! Our table has a tile top, a must for a family with children! Everything wipes off easily.

I have this weird fascination, too. ;)

Dirt Biking

Although I'm not into labels...

I'm quite okay to call myself one! :) You are a Hippie

You are a total hippie. While you may not wear birks or smell of incense, you have the soul of a hippie. You don't trust authority, and you do as you please. You're willing to take a stand, even when what you believe isn't popular. You like to experiment with ideas, lifestyles, and different subcultures. You always gravitate toward what's radical and subversive. Normal, mainstream culture doesn't really resonate with you.

Are You a Hippie?

Two Beautiful Quotes

"Authentic spirituality awakens the soul, reconnects us with the sacred, and fills us with the passion of life. Spiritual development is not about religious rituals and practices; it is about waking up to the wonder of life." -- David N. Elkins



"To seek the living manifestation of spiritual and ethical values themselves, regardless of the label they come under, is to discover unexpected kinship... In this view, faith is no longer a matter of an allegiance to a specific community or identity, but a ceaseless search for the beautiful ways to realize the human potential in every given age and place." -- Mohja Kahf


It's interesting that that last one would come into my life only days after meeting someone at a wellness fair. The lovely young mother was inquiring about homeschooling in the area. I told her about BHHA (an inclusive homeschooling group here). She had to giggle, and then ask if we're the ones who are witches. She went on to explain that she'd met someone from the christian homeschool group, and that person felt the need to enlighten her to the fact that we over at BHHA practice witchcraft. Yep. Funny, huh! The mom was so sweet, though, and teasing us saying, "so, do you all dance around in the middle of the night naked?" To which I replied, "well, if being a witch means we love the full moon, have drum circles, celebrate the seasons and honor Mother Earth, well, I guess I'm a witch!"

It's troubling to me that there is a whole group of homeschoolers around here too afraid to try to know us as human beings. Afraid that my child may bring something evil into their lives...they're missing out on knowing some pretty incredible people! I'm so Grateful to have the trust and faith in my children to make friends with the people *they* choose; for things that really matter, like kindness and integrity (and fun!), not which dogma they subscribe to or don't. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't have this in mind!

Friday

Too nice outside to sit here for too long, but did want to mention that John will be posting about their kayak trip soon. I thought it was only fitting that he post, since I wasn't there to know the details. He'll put up some pictures, too.

Life is peachy here. Busy with mothering, and wife'ing', and house caring, and volunteering, and, and, and.

Well, we're off for a drive in the hills.

Love to all...

"The divine is not something high above us.

It is in heaven, it is in earth, it is inside us..."
-- Morihei Ueshiba

Cleaning Kids

John's been recently posting at UB, asking for advice on how to handle the mess that will happen when living with children.

I thought it was SO fitting that I snapped a photo of Stone doing this the other day, on his own, didn't ask him once.


He was curious to see what he could find underneath all the couch cushions. He had a blast, exclaiming, "Wow! There's all kinds of interesting things under here!" So, he removed them from the couch, loveseat and chair, cleaned out all the big, fascinating gunk with his hands, then fetched the little yellow vac and sucked out the cracks. When he was done, and on to something more meaningful to him, I happily popped all the cushions back in place and put away the vacuum. I love that Boy! What a lucky mama, I am...

Egg Coloring

We colored eggs and hunted for them a couple times. Had dinner with Grandma last night, and did more egg hiding & seeking there.

Look at all that glorious sun! :) Makes me feel really bad for our chilly friends up north! :) I send you a sun-filled hug!

Sunny, Sunny Sun-Day

We're without our two big boys this morning. They spent the night with Grandma last night. It's always soooo very weird when any one of them are gone, and especially weird to have them both gone right now. Sage is lost, to say the least. But he did get lots of mama and papa attention all for himself last night. He's happy watching his cartoons at the moment.

John and I are seriously entertaining the thought of listing our house for sale, and buying something in the 'multi' family category. The economy is scaring the sh** out of me right now. And since our income relies on funding (road work!), eeeeeeeeek! Breathe, Breathe, Breathe, all is as it should Be, Trust, Trust, Trust...............

Well, minor panic attack over, and moving on! So, if we bought a duplex, then the renter helps to pay our mortgage. Frees us up to travel more, opens up doors of opportunity when less of our money is sunk into our mortgage. Enables us to pay down that blasted cc debt. It's something that the boys need to be excited about, too. They're such free-flowing spirits, they're usually ok with just about anything! They occasionally ask to sell the house and live in the bus again. I do know they love their home base as well, so the win/win would be to find a way to have both.

The biggest, most exciting news these days is that the boys and I are planning a big, fat road trip to attend the LIFE is Good Conference in May! We're so excited, and already counting down the 5o something days until we leave. We'll drive out from here. John will be back at work in the twin cities, so if we can find a cheap ticket for him, he'll fly out and join us for the Memorial Day weekend. We are, of course, reserving the right to hang out in Oregon for as long as we wish, or until we're tired of sleeping on their floor.

On the ticket for today:
1. egg dying in our back yard, in the southern sun, warm and wonderful
2. a bike ride, in the sun, warm and wonderful (with Grandma, too!)

~~~~~~~~~~Peace, Love, Free~~~~~~~~~~

*oh, and speaking of which,
SHE will be at Life is Good, too!
Life ***IS*** Good, truly...

Monday

The sleep-over was great fun, but we all were dragging our sleepy butts around yesterday. We made up for it, today, though, sleeping in until 9:00. Ahhhhh......:)

It's a beautiful sunny day here; that's one thing I love about living here. The sun shines almost ALL THE TIME. Lovely.

We made a quick stop at the dollar store yesterday on our way to the gym. I thought if they each had something novel to play with, they'd be more willing to hang out in the "kid's room" while I did a bit of sweating. They did great, and now Stone really needs to go back to the dollar store today so he can get a snake (Sage got one yesterday); so he and his brother can play snake games. They play together all day long. It's so fun to watch.

Saylor's outside shoveling snow right now; we got a couple inches yesterday, and now it's pouring off of the garage roof, our own mini waterfall just outside my kitchen window. That's the other thing I love about living here; peaceful, wintry snow fall one day; sunshine, melting snow and 50 degrees the next. I'm just one of those kinds of people that loves the variety. Probably explains my need for constant furniture re-arrangement, too.

Enjoy the day!

The Goings-On 'Round Here

Truly, I'm too tired to do this now, but I can't keep using that excuse. The boys are happily engaged with Robert, who's spending the night, so here I have a few moments of un-interrupted time. It seems that I can only keep up with my e-mail on a daily basis, and after that, I'm ready to get OFF the computer; so I haven't even been reading all of *your* blogs. ....sigh.... Hope you are all as crazy and happy as we are! :)

Ok, things are good. Stone lost a tooth a long time ago, and the other one is coming in already. We've done some dirt biking lately when the weather heats up enough to ride without frostbite. I attended a birth a couple of weeks ago; an exhausting 17 hours in the hospital, but now have more great friends in my circle. Always a good thing. I'm looking forward to attending two upcoming births, one in April and on in May--both friends, so it's an extra-extra special treat!

John's leaving for Minneapolis tomorrow for a Monday meeting/training and will hang out until the union meeting Wednesday night, so he'll be gone most of the week. The boys and I will likely spend time with friends while he's gone.

A few of us have started a breastfeeding support group for our community, and we'll have our second meeting this week. Our sleepy little town of 65,000 doesn't have a LLL anymore, so we had to do something!

John, Saylor and Stone are planning a 2 day kayak trip down Rapid Creek. Then, they want to try a 4 day trip. They're busy preparing and having a good time just doing that! They'll take the official trip some time in April, after some of the ice has melted.

We're eagerly anticipating a visit from our California-turned-Colorado friends early April. Sure to be a wonderful weekend. It's been too long, and I so look forward to having that wonderful energy around us again.

Saylor and Stone are both having a grand time playing WoW. We're all sharing an account right now, and it goes pretty smoothly *most* of the time. Saylor's been Skyping with friends a great deal, he loves his friends! We need to figure out what we need to do so that he can play WoW *and* Skype at the same darn time. Maybe just a little memory boost on the lap-top? Have to figure that out, fur sure!

John and I are reading _A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose_ by Eckhart Tolle. Tis a very, very good, enlightening book. We're also doing the on-line free class that he and Oprah are offering. I do love that Oprah! (until she tells women everywhere to "get the epidural", that is! ;)

Life is crazy, wonderful, brilliant. A Gift.

Hope you are enjoying yours...

Finding the Joy...

"And the true realism, always and everywhere, is that of the poets: to find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all." -- Robert Louis Stevenson

This one little bit of sage wisdom has completely transformed my life. It's really that simple.

Find the Joy.

Choose the Joy.

Really! It's THAT simple!

Yep.

February 14, 2008
Being Clear About Desires
Getting What We Want

The best way to get what we want from life is to first know what we want. If we haven’t taken the time to really understand and identify what would truly make us happy, we won’t be able to ask for it from those around us or from the universe. We may not even be able to recognize it once it arrives. Once we are clear about what we want, we can communicate it to those around us. When we can be honest about who we are and what we want, there is no need to demand, be rude or aggressive, or manipulate others that are involved in helping us get what we want. Instead, we know that we are transmitting a signal on the right frequency to bring all that we desire into our experience.

As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We may have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, or even engage in acts that use less than our highest integrity. The only rules we need to apply are those of intention and connection. In terms of energy, we can see that it takes a lot of energy to keep up a false front or act in a way that is counter to our true nature, but much less energy is expended when we can just be and enjoy connections that energize us in return. Then our energy can be directed toward living the life we want right now.

Society has certain expectations of behavior and the roles each of us should play, but as spiritual beings we are not bound by these superficial structures unless we choose to accept them. Instead, we can listen to our hearts and follow what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will find others who have chosen the same path. It can be easy to get caught up in following goals that appear to be what we want, but when we pursue the underlying value, we are certain to stay on our right path and continue to feed our soul.

Happiness

"True happiness is an acceptance of life as it is given to us, with its diminishment, mystery, uncontrollability, and all." -- Michael Gellert


Yes. Yes, indeed. And my acceptance of late has come in the form of remembering to honor the same advice I give my children. "Follow the Joy. Don't do something that doesn't feel right to *you*."

Last Sunday, I was as far away from Peace as I'd been in a very long time. I was consumed with the thought of this being my last free day with my family. Come Monday morning, when my phone would rip me out of restful sleep, the call from a local school, asking me to come in and take Mrs. So and So's class for the day; I would belong to someone, some thing, else.

I moped around here all day, incredibly sad. My family was sad, too. Nobody wanted me to do this, myself included. So, why did I think I "had" to? I kept telling myself, "It's the right thing to do". Hmmmmmm? Really? Is it "right" to feel soul-less? Because that's how it was feeling, as I tried to imagine myself putting on clothes that I hate, walking down the hallway, fronting someone that I'm not, being with other people's children all day, reading to them and trying my very hardest to be nice, while my children are away from me.

I went to bed Sunday night fully expecting that phone to ring Monday morning. I slept fitfully, dreaming all night long about a million different things. I kept waking up thinking, "I don't want to do this..."

Well, the phone didn't ring. My family was happy, I was happy. Lesson learned. I won't be leaving my family to do something that I'm less than enthusiastic about. Thankfully, my wonderful man is fully on board, too. He wants me around. That's cool.

We've decided we'd rather be in debt a couple years longer, and be happy, then be out of debt a couple years earlier and be miserable.

Following the Joy.............and oooooooooooo, it feels so good!

Wednesday

Saylor started coughing yesterday, and said he had pain when coughing today, so we ventured out and took him to the chiropractor, for an adjustment and to soothe mama's fears that all was well in those precious lungs. His lungs are clear, so we'll keep doing what we've been doing; lots of herbals, homeopathics, eucalyptus in the vaporizer, Raven and Frankincense rubbed on the chest and back, and some arnica tabs to help with his sore little ribs. Tomorrow, he'll be better! Yes, yes, yes!

Stone and Sage went for a visit to Haakon and Henry's house, so Saylor and I rented a bloody, gory vampire movie, and brought it back home for a fun little date. Stone reeaallly! needed some play time with friends, and enjoyed his time there. We drove over to pick them up around 5 and Stone wasn't quite ready yet, so Mary (H&H's mom) agreed to bring him back to our house on her way to volleyball around 7.

We returned the vampire movie (Blood Rayne) and picked up a couple others from Red Box. Don't you love Red Box! Heck Ya! $1 movies. I'll take it! We brought home Across the Universe and Game Plan. The boys requested Game Plan first, so that's what we watched tonight while we nibbled, er, ah, scarfed some guacamole. But tomorrow, we watch the movie I've been wanting to see for a long time!

I talked to John this afternoon, around 5, and he said he'd been in bed all day because he woke up feeling really rotten this morning. Dang. So, he may be coming home tomorrow where he can have some TLC, homemade chicken noodle soup and oranges juiced by the dozen. I'll do my volunteer shift on Saturday at the Breadroot, then meet with a prospective doula client on Sunday.

And again, I'm NOT getting sick. No, no, never, never uh, uh, uh! Wait, I think in LoA terms, I would say, "I'm healthy, I'm so healthy! I just love my healthy self, thank you Universe for bestowing the Gift of health onto this Grateful mama!"

All is Well...

The Yucks

We've (or rather, I've) spent the last week tending to ill children. And it's not coming at an ideal time either, darnit! John was out of town last week, and is again this week. We spent some time at the opening weekend of the Stock Show, where I'm pretty sure we picked up some nasty bug. Why, oh why do they have a large gathering like that smack dab in the middle of the season of YUCK? Well, I learned my lesson!

Stone, Sage and I (Saylor opted to hang out with Grandma) did get to go watch some bull riders on that first Saturday of the show, which I want to keep saying was 'last Saturday', but in reality, it was the Saturday before last. And it's significant, because the day after the bull riding, the boys and I traveled to Hot Springs (about an hour away) to attend a chicken pox party. Yay! Good times, right? Well, yes. Except for Stone feeling crappy for two days last week, and Saylor picking up where he left off, and he's still feeling like sh**. So much for my plan to have healthy, vibrant boys before catching the pox. No signs yet, but we're nearing the estimated incubation stage of 10-21 days, we're at day 9 today. I ordered a slew of homeopathics to help if we do indeed become a pox household in the near future.

And PLEEEEAAAASE let it happen when John's back home with his extra set of hands! The boys have kept me hopping, trying to be near this one, play with that one, and fix the other one something he's craving. Whew... no wonder we're all sleeping in every day! And (knock on wood!!!) I'm healthy. And I'm staying that way, so there!

I've gotten myself on both districts substitute teacher lists around here. It's a financial necessity at this point. Wonder how that's gonna look? The far-out radical free thinker spending my days in ---the system---. It's all good! I'll most likely be doing my bulk of subbing at the school that I taught at; so I'm just there to socialize! ;) oops...

John's flying to Portland, Oregon on the 12th to interview for a Supervisor position with a milling contractor there. Just not sure where that will all lead, so I won't even try to speculate.

Much Love and Blessed Be...

Birthday Photos

The Fab 5!
On Saylor's 9th birthday, spending time in the Beautiful Black Hills. The ice captured everyone for a long time, so we spent a good amount of time here, breaking ice, sliding on ice, taking pictures on ice.
I'm 9!
My *beautiful boys*, each and every one!
Sage had to ascend a big rock, just like his brothers. Saylor convinced me to climb on up, too, but that doesn't make as cute of a picture.
...sigh...sweet love...

Atop the big rock, King of the Mountain!Mmmm, lazing in the sun.
After our yummy deep fried, delightful lunch at the Sugar Shack, who touts itself to have the "Best Burger in the Hills" (and I think they're right), we continued on upward, to a stunning little snow-storm. We pulled over here to try our hand at some fishing, and this was such a beautiful shot, looking up the road and through this canyon. Remember, this was taken the same day as the one of Stone above, who's lying in the SUN. Yes, that's SD weather.
Saylor's tucked in here waiting for a bite.
It's snowing!

1/11/99

Exactly 9 years, 2 hours and 10 minutes ago, our original Beautiful Boy blessed us with his arrival. We knew not that he was a boy or girl. Why ruin the *ultimate* surprise? What we did know; that if we were having a son, he would be our Saylor. And so it was.

As we said good-night to each other last night, Saylor and I reveled in his "last day of being 8" shine. I stared at him, and stared some more. He's such an amazing, unique, special, Beautiful Boy, indeed.

And so today, he's requested breakfast in bed (at 8:30, please). On the menu:
bacon
sausage
dippy eggs
hash browns
hot chocolate

Then, we'll set out to spend a day in the woods. We're taking fishing poles, (more) hot chocolate, a couple field guides on plants in our area, the family, our curiosity and imagination. What more do we need?

Saylor's original plan was to go play at Flags and Wheels, an indoor go-cart place with laser tag, paint ball, stuff like that. Then, he imagined how much more fun it would be to go hiking and fishing and see if we can find any berries or wild plants to eat. He's been very interested in edible plants lately, and although it's winter, the wild life has to be eating something, right? We'll find something to eat, no doubt. He's adventurous!

We'll do lunch somewhere up in the hills, and stop and go, with Saylor at the wheel. It's his day. Whatever he wants to do, we're honored to tag along.

All Good Things

We're all nestled into our cozy little home, happy chilling out (or warming up?) by the fireplace, playing cards, watching cartoons and movies, playing the PS2, baking, eating, sipping hot chocolate, jumping from couch to cushions and back. All Good Things!

That's really the gist of our lives lately. I'm still volunteering at the co-op, although they want to pay me for some part time stuff from now until after the holidays, so I say "HellYa!" John's around, so it's a prime opportunity for me to get out and exercise my brain muscles.

We did some re-arranging of the game room, so now it's all set up with the flat screen, PS2 hooked up and ready, the futon, stuffed full of pillows for cozy tv watching/playing/reading or other snuggly things.

I whipped up a homemade pizza last night. Golly, why don't I do that more often? It's so easy, even the crust part. No raising time required, because I opted for the thin crust. I was just bummed I didn't have any veggies to put on it. Oh, well. I'll do it again soon.

Saylor's re-trying WoW. It's a 10 day free trial, we'll see how he feels after the 10 days. The first character he created was from the 'dark side'. I think the Horde? I'm not so WoW literate. Sorry. Then he did create a character from the Alliance, so I can rest-assured he's not ALL EVIL! (giggle, giggle)

Well, I'm going to run out and pick up the ceramic tile scraps I nabbed from free-cycle. Hoping to do some fun mosaic stuff with the boys on these dreamy indoor days. I also want to make some neck warmers for them, using my round looms. And Saylor wants a big shoulder flax-seed heat pad thing, so we need to try to figure out a pattern and sew something up for that. We'll toss in a bulk load of lavender seeds, as well, for the soothiness of it all.

Stone and Sage are busy playing whatever they can think of that requires bat-man capes, and varying animals. Stone's always the Dad, and Sage is his baby ---fill in the blank--- animal. And Stone's building with anything he can get his hands on. Yesterday, as John, Saylor and I played King's Corners, he was using the UNO deck, a small table, some other items on the floor, and building all sorts of stuff.

We're great. Hope you are too!

Be Well...

Travelin' Men

John came home for about 2 hours on Saturday, on his way through from Kansas to Washington. I whipped him up a nice lunch, and then asked Saylor if he'd be interested in going with Dad this time around. It's only supposed to be a 4 day journey, way up north to Blaine, WA, right on the Canadian border.

Saylor says "YES!" and we get him all packed up with essentials, and then they're off.

And now I'm asking myself, "ummmm, why the hell did I go and do that?" I miss my boy!!! :(

And then I remember, "Oh, yeah, because I *knew* he'd love to spend some time with Dad, and it is only fair that I share (a little at least) with John, who's always out there all by his lonesome."

Ok. Fine.

But I MIIIIIIISSSSS my Boy. And Stone misses him, big time. He actually had tears in his eyes when Saylor was preparing to go, saying "I don't want you to go, Saylor". But then Saylor told him how much he really wanted to go, and Stone reluctantly gave him his nod of approval. And now Stone's dreaming about him. And Sage will ask here and there throughout the day where Saylor is. We're all a bit lost.

Seem like I'm missing a part of my own anatomy. It's just weird. Eerily weird.

Can't wait til my travelin' men come back to me...

A Quote

"Freedom lies in being bold."

Robert Frost

Late Night @ the Buxcel House

The boys are just busy and nowhere near sleep. Huge fort, crafted from couch cushions and pillows, adorns our living room at this very second. They're taking turns hand-cuffing each other. They're laughing together.

There's a big ol' windstorm blowing through right now. Blew one of our wicker chairs clean off the porch.

I'm sure our backyard is littered with the diapers I hung out at dusk.

Does life get any better?

Good Times

Last week, was just all around, entirely Good. For three days, the boys and I didn't leave the house. (except for 1 quick trip each day, Monday-Wednesday). They were all so content to just be home, so I didn't offer up any outings. And they didn't ask for any. And they played so, so well together. Like friends. It was a beautiful thing!

Then Thursday, Sage turned 3. Then Friday we went to the homeschool park day and the kids had a great time running around the BMX track that's near the park. As it was nearing time to go, Mary's boys and my boys (we each have 3), had conspired a plan for us to join them at their house. So, that's what we did. Mary whipped up a couple homemade, delish pizzas, while we sipped some wine together and the kids continued on their playing voyage. A splendid evening, except for the fact that a severe case of the YUK'S was about to strike poor old Mama. I told the boys I was feeling very weird, and that we needed to go. They were incredibly sweet (and quick) in getting out of the house and to the car. I guess they could see the near panic on my face? We made it half way home and sho thing, I had to pull to the side of a (dark, untraveled (THANK GOD) road), and puke. One more episode a bit later at home, then I was all better. But, EWWWWWWW! I really dislike puking. And that's putting it mildly, ok? The boys were concerned about me, and gentle with me, and took really good care of me. I survived.

Then Saturday, we had to go back to the BMX track with our bikes, and Mary and her family. Saylor started feeling weird and Stone wasn't ready to leave, so Mary offered to bring Stone home later. Saylor did end up with a slight fever later that afternoon, so Sage and I spent the beautiful 70+ degree day inside, nursing him back to health. He was 100% the next day. Gotta love those homeopathics and essential oils! And the Mama love sure doesn't hurt, either. Stone finally rolled in around 4:30. I was happy for him that he got that special time for just *him*. He had a good time, too, but was tired for sure!

I feel like there are big changes happening here, in the lives of our little boys. Saylor is becoming more patient, caring, calm and compassionate towards his brothers. Way less of the normal irritation in his voice now.

Stone is finding his way out of his dream, fantasy world more often. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being there, it's just where he spends a lot of his time, so it's great to have him present with us, too. He seems to be becoming more aware of how *he* has an impact on the world around him. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that because he knows he's completely accepted for where he *is*, at any time, that he's able to begin to show empathy for others. (and if that sentence is incredibly confusing, my aplogies)

And Sage is saying so many cute things, I'll never get them all down here. "Wait a minute..." (in a long, drawn out, i-get-the-feeling-someone's-trying-to-pull-one-over-on-me kinda voice). And his most often uttered word at present, happens to be "tupid athole". I'll let you figure out just what that's supposed to mean. To him, it means nothing than two obscure words strung together (something he heard his brother say, and it stuck). He says it when he's mad at someone, he says it when he's laughing with someone, he says it to his toys that he's playing with. Anytime's a good time, evidently! ;) I'm trying really hard not to get attached to the message that he's bad for saying those words. And really, the only time I get tense, is when he says it around someone else. Oh, my. What will *they* think? Yeah, always working to get over that one, y'know?

Let the Good Times roll...

3

Happy Birthday, my Sweet, Sweet Sage!

***Superstah***

(think Molly Shannon...)

Anyway, here's the pictures of John and his good friend Henry! Groovy cool!



The guy did a 3-hour spoken word show. Three solid hours of talking, about really good stuff, too! John only remembers him taking a drink of water once. He was also struck by how kind this guy was. This man who is very opinionated and passionate about the current state of affairs and the people who brought us to this awful place; this man who will not hesitate to throw around mighty strong language of every sort to get his point across...is also incredibly concerned about *us*, the average citizen, working our asses off to get by, forgotten by those who lead. He urged his audience that night to get angry, really angry. To demand change. To accept nothing less. And, believe it or not, Henry Rollins is a very shy person. Imagine! He shared that he does great in a room packed full of hundreds of people, but put him face to face and he freaks. Especially if it's a *celebrity*. Unlike the title of this post, Henry doesn't consider himself a superstar of any sort. I like this guy. John does, too! If you haven't seen his show on the IFC (Independent Film Channel) you really should! Good, good stuff.
Da Bus...
The venue... downtown Minneapolis. John went down a bit early, to have a beer before the show, and bumped into Henry on the street. He called me right after *the* picture was taken, giddy with joy!

70 Glorious Degrees

That's what we're having right here, right now. It's not too shabby for a November day in South Dakota, eh?

We've got windows open in every room. Sweet breezes flowing through, smelling of crisp, fresh air. The down comforter is soaking up some sun, and the sheets are too. We could be outside, but everyone is quite content running around (naked mostly, except for Saylor and I) inside, building their respective forts and hiding out in cozy spaces carved out for one. (update: Sage just descended from said upstairs hiding spot, stingray in hand, requesting a bath, wish granted, of course!)

We ordered up a couple of bullwhips this morning from e-bay (saylor's new fascination, after watching Cat Woman several times, upon Sage's request). Stone had to have one, too. Saylor's already making plans and dreaming up what he'll do with his; to include: poking a long stick into the ground and seeing if he can remove it using only his whip.

John's off and earning money again for us. Thanks, Honey! :) We miss him, as always. This is just where we're at for today. That's what we work from. Today.

Grandma spent the last couple of nights with us. It's always nice having her around. The boys love their time with her. We're trying to bully her into trying out Guitar Hero with us, but no luck yet. We'll get her! Barb did play last night while she and Emma were here for a visit. She's hooked. ;)

I made cranberry scones yesterday, with the recipe shared by Ms. Kelli. They're scrumptious and special and make one feel oh, so lucky! (and they're insanely easy to make, added bonus)

The boys and I are planning a trek into the woods this afternoon. (tomorrow it's supposed to be 40, so we'll save our marathon banana cookie, bread, muffin baking for then).

Have a sunny one!

Halloween Plans

We'll attend the Mother's Collective partay later today. It's a potluck, eating for the first hour and a half, then onto games for the last 2 hours. Finishing it all off with the lights out, pumpkins aglow on table tops, strobe lights, black lights and dancing.

I'm making little critters that resemble spiders. Picture a little smokie, wrapped in a bit of breadstick, baked, with legs made from shoestring potatoes. You get the idea. Sage is going as batman, Stone as the chain-saw massacre guy, and Saylor as, um, well, not sure, he and John are keeping that on the hush hush at this point. And, we won't have any pictures to document, because our digital camera is in MN. Darn!

We carved pumpkins last night, then watched Reign Over Me. Very good, have a new appreciation for that song, now (Love, Reign O'er Me by The Who; though we think it's Eddie Vedder singing in the movie.) Checked out the lyrics, and they are powerful.

So, that's it for us for now. Of course, we're trick or treating after the party, so that will be the highlight for one and all, I'm sure.

Happy Halloween to you!

Rock On!

I could be reading one of my 75 unread e-mails, but thought I'd buzz in here for a moment with a happy update. Life is just so good. Don't you love it, when all is Right with the world? It is, it is. We've got a freezer full of good food, the fridge is over-flowing with goodness, too. Abundance is sure to happen when you're squishing cases full of organic veggies in. We're so blessed.

We've had lots of joy in the past days. John took Saylor and Stone pheasant hunting at Grandpa Dale's place yesterday, and they returned home to me and Sage today. It's so strange, when they're gone. The quiet is eerie. When normal is a constant level of noise and energy, not having it is just strange beyond words. Stone said to me tonight "Mom, when we were having the bonfire last night, I missed you a little". (they had a fire, just after they cooked up the one pheasant they'd gotten, thanking it for it's sustenance, btw) I shared with Stone that I missed them all, a whole lot, all through the day, the night. They're my life.

Our little Emma turned 3 yesterday, and tonight was her BD party. It was great to be with her, to see her playing with her cousins. They love her so much. And I must say I'm quite taken by her as well. We spent a couple hours at the park today (it was 69degrees). I struck up a conversation with an elderly man who was walking his dog, and we talked for a long time; about life, children, loss, choices. Choosing whether to wallow in the pity, or look for the good. That it's ok to wallow for a while, just don't stay down there too long. He was wonderful. We didn't exchange names, (except for his dog, Abby) but he was really great. The last thing he said to me was "Be a good mom. It's the most difficult, demanding job on this earth". I told him I do my best every single day, and that it's the best, most important job I've ever had or will have.

And, the funnest news (at least for John!) is that I picked up Guitar Hero III at Target today. The bundle came complete with 2 guitars! Score!!! Saylor and Stone enjoy it, it's a little difficult for Stone right now, but he'll get it. John, on the other hand, is *reeaaallly* into it. ;) And as a joke earlier, I said "Ok, you've been on twenty minutes. All done now, let's shut it off." And we laughed, thinking how cruel that is to do to children. Only they know when a need, any need, has been filled. How ungracious of us to pretend that we would know better than they.

So, yes, Life is Good, all around Good. Just finished _The Memory Keeper's Daughter_. Pushed myself to drag through the last chapter tonight so I can begin _Eat, Pray, Love_ tomorrow! Can't wait for that one. So, now I'm up too late. Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, Choose Joy...

Secrets Shared

I've been reading here for many Sundays, now. It's painful, and real. It'll make you laugh...and cry. Really Beautiful.
Check out Post Secret for yourself. I think you'll enjoy it.

You Gotta go to SCHOOL!

Lovely Fall Days

We've had a full and zany week of fun. Went to the park, oh, several times. Maybe 6 times? Maybe more? Today, I have a hair appointment for a cut and color (ouch, it'll be a spendy one, but I DESERVE IT!:) Part of me wants to do something radical (or at least a dramatic, noticeable change) and the other part of me clings to the old familiar. I don't know which way I'll go yet.

Grandma will hang out with the boys while I'm there, and then we'll try to make it to cousin Jarod's football game, and then, we've been invited to go to Watiki Water Park with my sister and her family. They're even buying our wrist bands! So nice...:) The boys are all still sleeping at this point, oh wait, I hear footsteps from above. They'll be quite excited about swimming today.

John will finish up his last day of work in MN today, winterize the bus tomorrow, then see Henry Rollins live in Minneapolis on Monday. He is *stoked* to go to this, and I'm looking forward to a call right after with all the details while they're still fresh in his mind. Then, Tuesday, he'll fly to Texas to pick up a truck for his brother, drive said truck back to northern MN somewhere, and then hopefully come home for a spell. Yep. Welcome to our crazy life.

Well, got a nursling crawling to my lap now, so I'm off! Good Day all...

Today's OM & Us

***THIS*** is what unschooling gives me, gives our boys, gives the world! It's a beautiful thing...


October 10, 2007
The Truths Within
Value Your Own Wisdom

Throughout our lives, we will encounter individuals who presume to know what is best for us. The insights they offer cannot compare, however, with the powers of awareness and discernment that already exist within us. From birth we are blessed with wisdom that cannot be learned or unlearned. It exists whether or not we acknowledge it because it is a gift given to us by a loving universe before we chose to experience existence on the earthly plane. Yet for all its permanence, it is vital that we value and honor this incredible element of the self. It is when we do not use our inborn wisdom that we begin to doubt our personal truths and are driven to outside sources of information because we are afraid. What we know to be true in our hearts is invariably true, and we discover how intensely beautiful and useful self-trust can be when we recognize the power of our wisdom.

Inner wisdom is not subject to the influences of the outside world, which means that it will never demand that we surrender our free will or counsel us to act in opposition to our values. We benefit from this inspiration when we open ourselves to it, letting go of the false notion that we are less qualified than others to determine our fate. The wisdom inside of us is the source of our discernment and our ability to identify blessings in disguise. When we are unsure of who to trust, how to respond, or what we require, the answers lie in our inner wisdom. It knows where we are going and understands where we are coming from, taking this into account though it is not a product of experience but rather a piece of our connection to the universal mind.

In the whole of your existence, no force you will ever encounter will contribute as much to your ability to do what you need to do and be who you want to be as your natural wisdom. Through it, you reveal your growing consciousness to the greater source and discover the true extent of your strength. If you heed this wisdom with conviction and confidence, the patterns, people, and fears that held you back will be dismantled, paving the way for you to fulfill your truest potential.

Too Long...

It was August 30 the last time I posted. I have so many important thoughts, really, I do! It's just that John was laid off in September, so he was home and my attentions were turned elsewhere. But, I do miss blogging. It helps me to clarify my thoughts, put down some highlights, and connect with the people reading. I also haven't been reading blogs lately, and I caught up this morning, and it feels good to know how everyone is doing. I love that they share their journey so readily with me and the world.

John is working this week in MN, for the week, then will be helping his brother pick up a truck from Oklahoma that John will be driving this winter. We really wished he could lay off completely, but we're just not there yet, so it is as it's meant to be.

We're enjoying fall. I'm looking forward to retreating indoors more often now, although yesterday found us at the park flying airplanes. How can you not be at the park flying airplanes when it's 73 degrees and sunny with no wind?

I've been volunteering at the Breadroot, helping Mary with her boys for a couple hours while she does, and just otherwise staying busy loving my boys. We've gone through a couple batches of scrumptious zucchini bars. Even Stone (who really doesn't like anything green) is indulging!

And, biggest news of all... Stone is on week two of Karate and is absolutely Shining there! He goes Monday through Thursday (yep, 4 times a week) for an hour each day and he's always eager to go back the next day. We stay and watch. I wouldn't miss it. My face disappears behind my smile every time I see him out there doing his kicks, punches and blocks. Oh, he's just delicious, I tell you! Mama pride, it's a good thing. Almost as good as a kid who's happy and loves his life, with our without mama pride! :)