November 11, 2012

Transition and Tears

We're just over 24 hours away from walking out of our home and life as we know it; into a journey of people, places and things unknown and unfamiliar.  And the tears are coming.  From me.  The rest of the tribe seems to be moving through it nicely, and in their own way, and I'm thankful for that.  I'm not hiding my tears.  I wondered if I should, but then thought that wouldn't be fair to keep that part of myself from them.  So, they see the tears coming, and they offer me love and empathy and smiles.

I feel silly for not being anything but over the top with Joy about what we're about to do, but I cannot deny the feelings that come, so I will welcome them, feel them, release them, and keep moving...

It's natural (for me at least, when I finally give myself permission) to feel a small sense of sadness about what it is I'm leaving behind.  There are so many things I could mention here; the people (oh YES! the people... I love my people), the places around the community that wrap themselves around you like your favorite old blanket, the things that become your favorites.

And yet, despite all of that, we've chosen to Leap.  Leap into a far away place that we're only slightly familiar with.  I know we'll create a space there that's just as wonderful as the one we have here.  I know we'll meet kick-ass people that make my heart feel like it's returned home.  I know we'll get all the details worked out that one must work out to live a full and magical life.

I am filled with Gratitude that we've chosen this adventure.  I believe there's much to learn about each other and ourselves through this, and *that* is why we're going.  It'd be easy to stay right here in our safe little place.  But I'm not looking for easy.  I'm ready.

Still ... a little piece of my heart will remain right here.


amy said...

I'm sad too. Sad I've not spent more time with you all. Sad I've done that partly on purpose-because I retreat into myself when I'm sad and angry which then makes me even more sad. Sad that I've even been been sad and oh so lonely. But I'm happy too. So so so happy for you and your family for following your freedom and living out loud. Happy that you're all opening yourselves up for adventure and transformation. Happy that the world is a better place because of you-and it will go on to be better through your children and theirs. Learn from, but most of all Enjoy your journey, even when there are tears.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to those feeling; thanks for sharing! Rebekah