August 23, 2006

House Full of Boys

Here I am, the only female in a house filled with 4 boys! John always points out that growing up, he seemed to end up hanging out with all the females, say, after T-giving, all the guys would veg in front of the tube, but he figured out early on...women are where it's at!! Even now, he is often the lone male among a tribe of women, usually all sitting around with babies on breasts! So, how ironic that I now am surrounded by all of this male energy.
Our neighbor is spending the night. We took him swimming with us (big plans to swim every day until the pool closes Saturday), then brought him back here and had tacos, and now they are building with K'Nex. Sage is sleeping upstairs, I'm listening to the boys talk and giggle and build and plan. I'm also reading hannahbearski's blog, and crying. Today is Hannah's birthday. She died on her 1/2 birthday, exactly 6 months ago today. She was 9 1/2.
My dad's birthday is today.
My brother's birthday was exactly 6 months ago, February 23.
I just realized that detail a few short moments ago.
Yesterday, our neighbor children were outside playing catch and the Shrek soundtrack. I had just been mentioning to them that there was a special song on that cd, so they found it and had it cranked and on repeat outside for me to hear. I sat on my porch, and cried. It was the song that Diana had playing for Hannah while everyone came in to say goodbye. She had it on repeat. I hadn't heard that song since that day. Hearing it literally took me back to that moment. Hannah so beautiful, Diana so broken...laying beside her baby girl, holding her, loving her, squeezing her eyes shut tight, as if hoping that she could please just wake up from this horrible thing that's just happened.
Hannah, you are with us all, everyday, in everything we do. Thank you for the goodness you brought to this earth and for the people you continue to touch.

1 comment:

Snavleys said...

I thought I was crying when I read Dianas blog but now I am bawling. I'm sure Hannah was especially remembered today and positive she is hanging around close to Diana today.