I was reading Post Secret today, and this particular post stuck out to me in a big way.
When I think long and hard about the kind of influence I want to have on my children, and the type of relationship I wish for with them, it comes back to this.
I know the feeling of 'guarding' myself when talking to or hanging out with my family. And I feel sorry for them that they don't know me, my authentic, whole, beautiful Self. It's my own fault, I realize this. I wonder how to begin showing them, and wonder, also, why it has to be so hard and scary to be real with people. Baby steps... I know I'll get there.
I work very hard every day practicing acceptance and loving kindness with my children, so they know deep down that they never need to guard themselves with me. They never need to 'omit' part of a story, or feel shameful or embarrassed sharing their thoughts with me, for fear that I will judge them. Each of them has a life of their own, they are on a journey that may or may not reflect bits of my own, and that's ok. It's better than ok. It's the way of the world, whether people want to admit it or not. Some people think they will be successful in controlling their kids to do what they say, when they say, etc. It might work for a while, but I wonder if they stop to think about the damage being done? Do they understand that they are likely missing out on knowing the true essence of that child? What a tragedy. To know oneself is the most important thing we can do for ourselves, yet so many of us have no idea who we really are. I wonder why that is......?!
To my beautiful children, the Lights of my life:
I promise to love you, to accept you, to celebrate life with you no matter what that looks like. I promise not to have that look of disapproval, or that tone in my voice that makes you feel bad or less, I promise to jump right in there with you to share whatever emotion you're sharing with me. I promise to be Grateful for this life that we get to spend *together*, and I can't wait to watch as your life continues to unfold for you.
You amaze me every day. I'm so Glad to be your Mama... <3