October 30, 2006

This is Big

I love this post and thought it prudent to share!

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

::Emotional Midwifery ::

Today, if your child behaves in a way that you find particularly annoying or upsetting, try this perspective:

My child's behavior is *not* what's really upsetting me. The behavior is triggering unresolved feelings that have nothing to do with the present situation.

In other words, your child is doing you a favor! S/he's giving you an opportunity to heal -- to resolve an old hurt and release the stress it's been creating. You don't even have to figure out the cause of the unresolved feeling. Just *allow* yourself to feel it, and it will resolve naturally.
The following will help:
* Take some deep breaths and locate the feeling in your body.
* Don't judge, express, or react to the feeling; just be present with it, and let yourself experience it, even if it hurts. (Notice it hurts less if you don't resist it.)
* Be like an empowering midwife to the feeling, which is giving birth to new awareness, clarity, and freedom.
* Silently bless your child for playing a part in your healing.

2 comments:

Snavleys said...

Karen, thank you for that! I am finding myself reverting back to old tools lately, as my kids are bickering so much and I start shutting down after listening to it and not really knowing what new tools to use. Taking it personally...... feeling sensory overload. The article on appreciation was wonderful!

~diana said...

Scott Noelle is a Sage! Thank you for giving extra attention to this message... great timing, as usual! :)