December 13, 2006

Manipulation is a GOOOOOOD thing...

Have you ever felt like you were being 'manipulated'? Well, now you can breathe easy and smile the next time you have that feeling...
This came to be at the pefect time - surprise, surprise, always works that way, y'know?-
I've been feeling quite distracted lately. Time to tune in.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle

--> New Audio for Premium Subscribers:
"Radical Parenting" (details below)

:: The Joy of Manipulation ::

The word *manipulate* means "to handle skillfully."
Since the main function of childhood is learning how
to handle life skillfully, a "manipulative" child is
only doing what comes naturally.

A good relationship is one in which both parties can
manipulate each other in ways they both enjoy. They
dance with one mind, like Fred Astaire and Ginger
Rogers. It's called *attunement*.

When you and your child are well-attuned, the
manipulation can be so subtle that all you notice is
the pleasure of your connection. But when you're
distracted or stressed, your child will escalate to
unsubtle, unpleasant cues like crying or whining --
whatever it takes to get your attention.

Conventional (adversarial) parenting advice says you
mustn't "give in" to such manipulation. The parent
"wins" when the child gives up hope.

When you understand that unpleasant manipulation is a
symptom of failed attunement, the path becomes clear:

* Attune with your Self.
* Attune with your child.
* Focus on the pleasure of connecting.
* Everyone wins.

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