Birthday Photos

The Fab 5!
On Saylor's 9th birthday, spending time in the Beautiful Black Hills. The ice captured everyone for a long time, so we spent a good amount of time here, breaking ice, sliding on ice, taking pictures on ice.
I'm 9!
My *beautiful boys*, each and every one!
Sage had to ascend a big rock, just like his brothers. Saylor convinced me to climb on up, too, but that doesn't make as cute of a picture.
...sigh...sweet love...

Atop the big rock, King of the Mountain!Mmmm, lazing in the sun.
After our yummy deep fried, delightful lunch at the Sugar Shack, who touts itself to have the "Best Burger in the Hills" (and I think they're right), we continued on upward, to a stunning little snow-storm. We pulled over here to try our hand at some fishing, and this was such a beautiful shot, looking up the road and through this canyon. Remember, this was taken the same day as the one of Stone above, who's lying in the SUN. Yes, that's SD weather.
Saylor's tucked in here waiting for a bite.
It's snowing!

1/11/99

Exactly 9 years, 2 hours and 10 minutes ago, our original Beautiful Boy blessed us with his arrival. We knew not that he was a boy or girl. Why ruin the *ultimate* surprise? What we did know; that if we were having a son, he would be our Saylor. And so it was.

As we said good-night to each other last night, Saylor and I reveled in his "last day of being 8" shine. I stared at him, and stared some more. He's such an amazing, unique, special, Beautiful Boy, indeed.

And so today, he's requested breakfast in bed (at 8:30, please). On the menu:
bacon
sausage
dippy eggs
hash browns
hot chocolate

Then, we'll set out to spend a day in the woods. We're taking fishing poles, (more) hot chocolate, a couple field guides on plants in our area, the family, our curiosity and imagination. What more do we need?

Saylor's original plan was to go play at Flags and Wheels, an indoor go-cart place with laser tag, paint ball, stuff like that. Then, he imagined how much more fun it would be to go hiking and fishing and see if we can find any berries or wild plants to eat. He's been very interested in edible plants lately, and although it's winter, the wild life has to be eating something, right? We'll find something to eat, no doubt. He's adventurous!

We'll do lunch somewhere up in the hills, and stop and go, with Saylor at the wheel. It's his day. Whatever he wants to do, we're honored to tag along.

All Good Things

We're all nestled into our cozy little home, happy chilling out (or warming up?) by the fireplace, playing cards, watching cartoons and movies, playing the PS2, baking, eating, sipping hot chocolate, jumping from couch to cushions and back. All Good Things!

That's really the gist of our lives lately. I'm still volunteering at the co-op, although they want to pay me for some part time stuff from now until after the holidays, so I say "HellYa!" John's around, so it's a prime opportunity for me to get out and exercise my brain muscles.

We did some re-arranging of the game room, so now it's all set up with the flat screen, PS2 hooked up and ready, the futon, stuffed full of pillows for cozy tv watching/playing/reading or other snuggly things.

I whipped up a homemade pizza last night. Golly, why don't I do that more often? It's so easy, even the crust part. No raising time required, because I opted for the thin crust. I was just bummed I didn't have any veggies to put on it. Oh, well. I'll do it again soon.

Saylor's re-trying WoW. It's a 10 day free trial, we'll see how he feels after the 10 days. The first character he created was from the 'dark side'. I think the Horde? I'm not so WoW literate. Sorry. Then he did create a character from the Alliance, so I can rest-assured he's not ALL EVIL! (giggle, giggle)

Well, I'm going to run out and pick up the ceramic tile scraps I nabbed from free-cycle. Hoping to do some fun mosaic stuff with the boys on these dreamy indoor days. I also want to make some neck warmers for them, using my round looms. And Saylor wants a big shoulder flax-seed heat pad thing, so we need to try to figure out a pattern and sew something up for that. We'll toss in a bulk load of lavender seeds, as well, for the soothiness of it all.

Stone and Sage are busy playing whatever they can think of that requires bat-man capes, and varying animals. Stone's always the Dad, and Sage is his baby ---fill in the blank--- animal. And Stone's building with anything he can get his hands on. Yesterday, as John, Saylor and I played King's Corners, he was using the UNO deck, a small table, some other items on the floor, and building all sorts of stuff.

We're great. Hope you are too!

Be Well...

Travelin' Men

John came home for about 2 hours on Saturday, on his way through from Kansas to Washington. I whipped him up a nice lunch, and then asked Saylor if he'd be interested in going with Dad this time around. It's only supposed to be a 4 day journey, way up north to Blaine, WA, right on the Canadian border.

Saylor says "YES!" and we get him all packed up with essentials, and then they're off.

And now I'm asking myself, "ummmm, why the hell did I go and do that?" I miss my boy!!! :(

And then I remember, "Oh, yeah, because I *knew* he'd love to spend some time with Dad, and it is only fair that I share (a little at least) with John, who's always out there all by his lonesome."

Ok. Fine.

But I MIIIIIIISSSSS my Boy. And Stone misses him, big time. He actually had tears in his eyes when Saylor was preparing to go, saying "I don't want you to go, Saylor". But then Saylor told him how much he really wanted to go, and Stone reluctantly gave him his nod of approval. And now Stone's dreaming about him. And Sage will ask here and there throughout the day where Saylor is. We're all a bit lost.

Seem like I'm missing a part of my own anatomy. It's just weird. Eerily weird.

Can't wait til my travelin' men come back to me...

A Quote

"Freedom lies in being bold."

Robert Frost

Late Night @ the Buxcel House

The boys are just busy and nowhere near sleep. Huge fort, crafted from couch cushions and pillows, adorns our living room at this very second. They're taking turns hand-cuffing each other. They're laughing together.

There's a big ol' windstorm blowing through right now. Blew one of our wicker chairs clean off the porch.

I'm sure our backyard is littered with the diapers I hung out at dusk.

Does life get any better?

Good Times

Last week, was just all around, entirely Good. For three days, the boys and I didn't leave the house. (except for 1 quick trip each day, Monday-Wednesday). They were all so content to just be home, so I didn't offer up any outings. And they didn't ask for any. And they played so, so well together. Like friends. It was a beautiful thing!

Then Thursday, Sage turned 3. Then Friday we went to the homeschool park day and the kids had a great time running around the BMX track that's near the park. As it was nearing time to go, Mary's boys and my boys (we each have 3), had conspired a plan for us to join them at their house. So, that's what we did. Mary whipped up a couple homemade, delish pizzas, while we sipped some wine together and the kids continued on their playing voyage. A splendid evening, except for the fact that a severe case of the YUK'S was about to strike poor old Mama. I told the boys I was feeling very weird, and that we needed to go. They were incredibly sweet (and quick) in getting out of the house and to the car. I guess they could see the near panic on my face? We made it half way home and sho thing, I had to pull to the side of a (dark, untraveled (THANK GOD) road), and puke. One more episode a bit later at home, then I was all better. But, EWWWWWWW! I really dislike puking. And that's putting it mildly, ok? The boys were concerned about me, and gentle with me, and took really good care of me. I survived.

Then Saturday, we had to go back to the BMX track with our bikes, and Mary and her family. Saylor started feeling weird and Stone wasn't ready to leave, so Mary offered to bring Stone home later. Saylor did end up with a slight fever later that afternoon, so Sage and I spent the beautiful 70+ degree day inside, nursing him back to health. He was 100% the next day. Gotta love those homeopathics and essential oils! And the Mama love sure doesn't hurt, either. Stone finally rolled in around 4:30. I was happy for him that he got that special time for just *him*. He had a good time, too, but was tired for sure!

I feel like there are big changes happening here, in the lives of our little boys. Saylor is becoming more patient, caring, calm and compassionate towards his brothers. Way less of the normal irritation in his voice now.

Stone is finding his way out of his dream, fantasy world more often. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being there, it's just where he spends a lot of his time, so it's great to have him present with us, too. He seems to be becoming more aware of how *he* has an impact on the world around him. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that because he knows he's completely accepted for where he *is*, at any time, that he's able to begin to show empathy for others. (and if that sentence is incredibly confusing, my aplogies)

And Sage is saying so many cute things, I'll never get them all down here. "Wait a minute..." (in a long, drawn out, i-get-the-feeling-someone's-trying-to-pull-one-over-on-me kinda voice). And his most often uttered word at present, happens to be "tupid athole". I'll let you figure out just what that's supposed to mean. To him, it means nothing than two obscure words strung together (something he heard his brother say, and it stuck). He says it when he's mad at someone, he says it when he's laughing with someone, he says it to his toys that he's playing with. Anytime's a good time, evidently! ;) I'm trying really hard not to get attached to the message that he's bad for saying those words. And really, the only time I get tense, is when he says it around someone else. Oh, my. What will *they* think? Yeah, always working to get over that one, y'know?

Let the Good Times roll...

3

Happy Birthday, my Sweet, Sweet Sage!

***Superstah***

(think Molly Shannon...)

Anyway, here's the pictures of John and his good friend Henry! Groovy cool!



The guy did a 3-hour spoken word show. Three solid hours of talking, about really good stuff, too! John only remembers him taking a drink of water once. He was also struck by how kind this guy was. This man who is very opinionated and passionate about the current state of affairs and the people who brought us to this awful place; this man who will not hesitate to throw around mighty strong language of every sort to get his point across...is also incredibly concerned about *us*, the average citizen, working our asses off to get by, forgotten by those who lead. He urged his audience that night to get angry, really angry. To demand change. To accept nothing less. And, believe it or not, Henry Rollins is a very shy person. Imagine! He shared that he does great in a room packed full of hundreds of people, but put him face to face and he freaks. Especially if it's a *celebrity*. Unlike the title of this post, Henry doesn't consider himself a superstar of any sort. I like this guy. John does, too! If you haven't seen his show on the IFC (Independent Film Channel) you really should! Good, good stuff.
Da Bus...
The venue... downtown Minneapolis. John went down a bit early, to have a beer before the show, and bumped into Henry on the street. He called me right after *the* picture was taken, giddy with joy!

70 Glorious Degrees

That's what we're having right here, right now. It's not too shabby for a November day in South Dakota, eh?

We've got windows open in every room. Sweet breezes flowing through, smelling of crisp, fresh air. The down comforter is soaking up some sun, and the sheets are too. We could be outside, but everyone is quite content running around (naked mostly, except for Saylor and I) inside, building their respective forts and hiding out in cozy spaces carved out for one. (update: Sage just descended from said upstairs hiding spot, stingray in hand, requesting a bath, wish granted, of course!)

We ordered up a couple of bullwhips this morning from e-bay (saylor's new fascination, after watching Cat Woman several times, upon Sage's request). Stone had to have one, too. Saylor's already making plans and dreaming up what he'll do with his; to include: poking a long stick into the ground and seeing if he can remove it using only his whip.

John's off and earning money again for us. Thanks, Honey! :) We miss him, as always. This is just where we're at for today. That's what we work from. Today.

Grandma spent the last couple of nights with us. It's always nice having her around. The boys love their time with her. We're trying to bully her into trying out Guitar Hero with us, but no luck yet. We'll get her! Barb did play last night while she and Emma were here for a visit. She's hooked. ;)

I made cranberry scones yesterday, with the recipe shared by Ms. Kelli. They're scrumptious and special and make one feel oh, so lucky! (and they're insanely easy to make, added bonus)

The boys and I are planning a trek into the woods this afternoon. (tomorrow it's supposed to be 40, so we'll save our marathon banana cookie, bread, muffin baking for then).

Have a sunny one!

Halloween Plans

We'll attend the Mother's Collective partay later today. It's a potluck, eating for the first hour and a half, then onto games for the last 2 hours. Finishing it all off with the lights out, pumpkins aglow on table tops, strobe lights, black lights and dancing.

I'm making little critters that resemble spiders. Picture a little smokie, wrapped in a bit of breadstick, baked, with legs made from shoestring potatoes. You get the idea. Sage is going as batman, Stone as the chain-saw massacre guy, and Saylor as, um, well, not sure, he and John are keeping that on the hush hush at this point. And, we won't have any pictures to document, because our digital camera is in MN. Darn!

We carved pumpkins last night, then watched Reign Over Me. Very good, have a new appreciation for that song, now (Love, Reign O'er Me by The Who; though we think it's Eddie Vedder singing in the movie.) Checked out the lyrics, and they are powerful.

So, that's it for us for now. Of course, we're trick or treating after the party, so that will be the highlight for one and all, I'm sure.

Happy Halloween to you!

Rock On!

I could be reading one of my 75 unread e-mails, but thought I'd buzz in here for a moment with a happy update. Life is just so good. Don't you love it, when all is Right with the world? It is, it is. We've got a freezer full of good food, the fridge is over-flowing with goodness, too. Abundance is sure to happen when you're squishing cases full of organic veggies in. We're so blessed.

We've had lots of joy in the past days. John took Saylor and Stone pheasant hunting at Grandpa Dale's place yesterday, and they returned home to me and Sage today. It's so strange, when they're gone. The quiet is eerie. When normal is a constant level of noise and energy, not having it is just strange beyond words. Stone said to me tonight "Mom, when we were having the bonfire last night, I missed you a little". (they had a fire, just after they cooked up the one pheasant they'd gotten, thanking it for it's sustenance, btw) I shared with Stone that I missed them all, a whole lot, all through the day, the night. They're my life.

Our little Emma turned 3 yesterday, and tonight was her BD party. It was great to be with her, to see her playing with her cousins. They love her so much. And I must say I'm quite taken by her as well. We spent a couple hours at the park today (it was 69degrees). I struck up a conversation with an elderly man who was walking his dog, and we talked for a long time; about life, children, loss, choices. Choosing whether to wallow in the pity, or look for the good. That it's ok to wallow for a while, just don't stay down there too long. He was wonderful. We didn't exchange names, (except for his dog, Abby) but he was really great. The last thing he said to me was "Be a good mom. It's the most difficult, demanding job on this earth". I told him I do my best every single day, and that it's the best, most important job I've ever had or will have.

And, the funnest news (at least for John!) is that I picked up Guitar Hero III at Target today. The bundle came complete with 2 guitars! Score!!! Saylor and Stone enjoy it, it's a little difficult for Stone right now, but he'll get it. John, on the other hand, is *reeaaallly* into it. ;) And as a joke earlier, I said "Ok, you've been on twenty minutes. All done now, let's shut it off." And we laughed, thinking how cruel that is to do to children. Only they know when a need, any need, has been filled. How ungracious of us to pretend that we would know better than they.

So, yes, Life is Good, all around Good. Just finished _The Memory Keeper's Daughter_. Pushed myself to drag through the last chapter tonight so I can begin _Eat, Pray, Love_ tomorrow! Can't wait for that one. So, now I'm up too late. Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, Choose Joy...

Secrets Shared

I've been reading here for many Sundays, now. It's painful, and real. It'll make you laugh...and cry. Really Beautiful.
Check out Post Secret for yourself. I think you'll enjoy it.

You Gotta go to SCHOOL!

Lovely Fall Days

We've had a full and zany week of fun. Went to the park, oh, several times. Maybe 6 times? Maybe more? Today, I have a hair appointment for a cut and color (ouch, it'll be a spendy one, but I DESERVE IT!:) Part of me wants to do something radical (or at least a dramatic, noticeable change) and the other part of me clings to the old familiar. I don't know which way I'll go yet.

Grandma will hang out with the boys while I'm there, and then we'll try to make it to cousin Jarod's football game, and then, we've been invited to go to Watiki Water Park with my sister and her family. They're even buying our wrist bands! So nice...:) The boys are all still sleeping at this point, oh wait, I hear footsteps from above. They'll be quite excited about swimming today.

John will finish up his last day of work in MN today, winterize the bus tomorrow, then see Henry Rollins live in Minneapolis on Monday. He is *stoked* to go to this, and I'm looking forward to a call right after with all the details while they're still fresh in his mind. Then, Tuesday, he'll fly to Texas to pick up a truck for his brother, drive said truck back to northern MN somewhere, and then hopefully come home for a spell. Yep. Welcome to our crazy life.

Well, got a nursling crawling to my lap now, so I'm off! Good Day all...

Today's OM & Us

***THIS*** is what unschooling gives me, gives our boys, gives the world! It's a beautiful thing...


October 10, 2007
The Truths Within
Value Your Own Wisdom

Throughout our lives, we will encounter individuals who presume to know what is best for us. The insights they offer cannot compare, however, with the powers of awareness and discernment that already exist within us. From birth we are blessed with wisdom that cannot be learned or unlearned. It exists whether or not we acknowledge it because it is a gift given to us by a loving universe before we chose to experience existence on the earthly plane. Yet for all its permanence, it is vital that we value and honor this incredible element of the self. It is when we do not use our inborn wisdom that we begin to doubt our personal truths and are driven to outside sources of information because we are afraid. What we know to be true in our hearts is invariably true, and we discover how intensely beautiful and useful self-trust can be when we recognize the power of our wisdom.

Inner wisdom is not subject to the influences of the outside world, which means that it will never demand that we surrender our free will or counsel us to act in opposition to our values. We benefit from this inspiration when we open ourselves to it, letting go of the false notion that we are less qualified than others to determine our fate. The wisdom inside of us is the source of our discernment and our ability to identify blessings in disguise. When we are unsure of who to trust, how to respond, or what we require, the answers lie in our inner wisdom. It knows where we are going and understands where we are coming from, taking this into account though it is not a product of experience but rather a piece of our connection to the universal mind.

In the whole of your existence, no force you will ever encounter will contribute as much to your ability to do what you need to do and be who you want to be as your natural wisdom. Through it, you reveal your growing consciousness to the greater source and discover the true extent of your strength. If you heed this wisdom with conviction and confidence, the patterns, people, and fears that held you back will be dismantled, paving the way for you to fulfill your truest potential.

Too Long...

It was August 30 the last time I posted. I have so many important thoughts, really, I do! It's just that John was laid off in September, so he was home and my attentions were turned elsewhere. But, I do miss blogging. It helps me to clarify my thoughts, put down some highlights, and connect with the people reading. I also haven't been reading blogs lately, and I caught up this morning, and it feels good to know how everyone is doing. I love that they share their journey so readily with me and the world.

John is working this week in MN, for the week, then will be helping his brother pick up a truck from Oklahoma that John will be driving this winter. We really wished he could lay off completely, but we're just not there yet, so it is as it's meant to be.

We're enjoying fall. I'm looking forward to retreating indoors more often now, although yesterday found us at the park flying airplanes. How can you not be at the park flying airplanes when it's 73 degrees and sunny with no wind?

I've been volunteering at the Breadroot, helping Mary with her boys for a couple hours while she does, and just otherwise staying busy loving my boys. We've gone through a couple batches of scrumptious zucchini bars. Even Stone (who really doesn't like anything green) is indulging!

And, biggest news of all... Stone is on week two of Karate and is absolutely Shining there! He goes Monday through Thursday (yep, 4 times a week) for an hour each day and he's always eager to go back the next day. We stay and watch. I wouldn't miss it. My face disappears behind my smile every time I see him out there doing his kicks, punches and blocks. Oh, he's just delicious, I tell you! Mama pride, it's a good thing. Almost as good as a kid who's happy and loves his life, with our without mama pride! :)

Buehler?

We're still here! John came home last weekend, and will come home again this weekend. He's planning on getting into the parade (Labor Day Parade-he is a union man, after all). So, when he gets home, he and the boys will be busy gathering up all of their earth moving equipment, retrieving a load of sand or dirt for the trailer, and representing Local 49. The boys are stoked that they get to throw candy!

We went to our favorite little pond/park yesterday, and as Stone and I were balancing on the stone wall that surrounds the park, we saw a b.i.g. garter snake slithering about just below us. The boys caught it and played with her for a while, then put her back. Then, Saylor found a cutesy little turtle by the pond. We brought the turtle home and it will live with us until the excitement wears off. Stone has been spending every second with Striper. (y'know, cuz they have orange stripes!) He's tickled, to say the least.

After watching I-Caught, and hearing that there's a video on youtube that walks you through, step by step, on how to pick a lock, Saylor's been obsessed with everything "lock-pick". We've looked a many a site, and he's got his heart on one that looks like a ballpoint pen, that has 5 lock-picking tools hidden inside. For 39.95, it can be his! We're working on saving up that 39.95.

All's well! We've been doing so many fun and interesting things that I won't bother to list them all here. Just be assured we're doing great!

Zoo!

Late this afternoon, after a while of playing/riding/running in the nearby deserted parking lot, I felt the urge to start pulling weeds, again. (did a bunch a couple days ago, got a big job ahead of me). The weather was perfect for it, nice and cool with a bit of a breeze. So, I got my gloves and gave each child a cutting device so they could help with the big ones. We were all having a grand time, until Stone got stung by a bee. Poor child, he screamed his head off, it hurt him very much. I whisked him inside, put some lavender on the sting and gave him a homeopathic for insect bites/stings. Within minutes, he was making his baby brother belly laugh, the pain of the sting behind him.

So, we wandered back outside and I resumed the weed pulling and trimmed a few pesky low hanging branches. The boys made quick use of these branches to build a zoo by first setting up some decorative wire fencing around the table, then stacking that full of branches. Once they were finished, the Zoo Keeper (Saylor) let me know it was open and that it was free, so he led me over, insisting I keep my eyes closed. He introduced me to his two critters, Jackie the Bunny (Stone) and Wolffy the Wolf (Sage).

It was one of those evenings that everything was just right. We were outside until dark, everyone engaged in something they were enjoying. Saylor had some oldies station blasting through the yard, which just added to the whole experience. Nothing like pulling weeds to "you're mama can't dance and you're daddy don't rock'n'roll". Stone finally led me inside, telling me we were going into the aquarium now, and that there were gifts, but not for sale, for free, but I can only choose 5 so that there's enough for everyone... Oh, and it just went on and on!

Daddy-O is in B-town with the cool Traaseth's, so this post is especially for him, because I know Kelli will show it to him when she sees this really early tomorrow morning! :) Hope ya'll ate a marshmallow for each of us!